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By Soha F Khan, on October 3rd, 2010
The taboo topics in Saudi Arabia are: Saudi politics, religion, and sex; which my friend refers to as the danger triangle.
It is acceptable to some extent to talk about “the danger triangle” publicly or on a personal level as long as it does not turn into a bold and public criticism on mainstream media (unless one wants to risk severe punishments), and as long as one does not disagree with commonly held views and opinions of the community (unless one wants to risk becoming an outcast).
As a blog writer, I cannot help restrain myself from commenting and sharing my views on religious matters, not that I intend to criticize the religion in itself, but to bring attention to the influence of such religious ordinance on the Saudi culture and social issues; mainly, to voice my frustration with religious extremism, in terms of its consequence on the Saudi Society and the rest of the world.
My frustration results from three main factors:
1. I see that Islam in Saudi Arabia is tainted by extremism.
2. I believe a big part of the Saudi culture is the byproduct of ordinances imposed by fundamentalist views, in addition to extreme tribal laws.
3. I have come to realize that far too many Saudis are convinced or at least claim that their culture and traditions are in line with Islam and the teachings of the prophet, and in return refuse to bring about any changes to their way of life, beliefs, and traditions, even if it is for the betterment of the Saudi society.
It has been ingrained in the minds of many Saudis that the only common sense is to follow the fatwas (religious ordinance) issued by religious Imams. And anyone (not an imam) who tries to send a message, either through humor or through boldly bringing attention to a social or a religious issue is viewed either as threatening and offensive, or viewed as someone conspiring against Islam to stray the Muslims away from teachings of Islam.
This is an issue I have been facing when I disagree with someone or provide an alternative view. And even when I write about topics that seem to offend some people. It saddens me when people take on a defensive attitude if someone disagrees with them, however, people are willing to blindly follow a fatwa, even if the fatwa might not be very convincing, and in return, disregard their own common sense.
When supermarkets in Saudi Arabia in an attempt to empower women, employ women cashiers to work alongside men, one would find the fundamental imams issuing fatwas against permitting women to work and condemning the act, by asking people to boycott these supermarkets for employing women, and sadly many people (blindly) do respond in the favor of those boycotts.
Or when popular TV shows like “Tash Ma Tash”, a Saudi series that has been airing every Ramadan for the past 17 years; touches on Saudi cultures sensibilities in the form of humor, and a great way to send out a message about the corruptions and extremism in Saudi Arabia. Many extremists have taken on a defensive attitude and have advised against watching those shows, and even sometimes go as far as to send death threats.
I can keep going on and on with examples of fundamentalism in this country, and peoples defensive attitudes towards any criticism or the need for a change. The point is, I hope that my readers understand that I do not intend with my topics to lead people to corruption, nor am I conspiring against Islam, nor trying to be satirical. All I am trying to do is provide a comment, a view, a new idea, to bring attention to certain social and religious issues for people to think about it.
Saudis need to wake up from the fantasy world created by the fundamentalist that they are living their lives in accordance with the Islamic laws (by taking extreme measures on everything), or that any criticism or alternative views of the Saudi culture is an attack on Islam or a disrespect.
A popular saying amongst Saudis goes “May God never brings any changes upon us”, to imply that they are content with the way things are, and any attempt for a change is seen as a threat. There is an urgent need to change that attitude and that way of thinking to “May God brings change upon us quickly, because we badly need it”. We cannot go on living like herds of sheep, and be too afraid to stray away from the pack. Sometimes, it is a good thing to stray from the pack and accept new thoughts and ideas.
This change can only come from within, once we start changing our attitude towards those topics which are considered a taboo. I end this topic from a verse from the Quran that indicates the importance of the need for change (which many people neglect to follow) “Thus, God does not change the condition of any people unless they themselves make the decision to change” [Raad 13:11].
By Soha F Khan, on August 27th, 2010
It didn’t take me long to blend in with the western culture. When I first arrived in the US, I adjusted immediately, and I made friends.
I learned a great deal about the American culture from the people I met. I studied alongside Americans, I traveled with them, and I even went to their hangouts to socialize. However, I did have limits, I knew how much I needed to be involved and when to stop.
Many of my western friends came to view me as a “liberal Muslim”. I would have liked to consider it a compliment, but I wasn’t sure whether I should. Knowing that for many, the term “liberal Muslim” implies that a person is rebelling against the teachings of their own religion; which is not necessarily the case at all.
Besides, I never thought of myself as liberal, I only consider myself a good Muslim citizen. Why couldn’t I simply be a Muslim, without attaching any labels? Is it necessary to label a Muslim “liberal” for wanting to enjoy life, to make their own choices, and for embracing modernity?
My friends and the Saudi community back home, view me as a Muslim influenced by the west. I am labeled a “corrupt Muslim” that needs to be disceplined for wanting to live my life the way I desire, and not according to the Saudi traditions which are not necessarily in line with Islam.
I am a “corrupt Muslim” for doubting the interpretations of some of the Hadiths, the sayings and teachings of the prophet, which are listed as the most authentic source after the Quran, because I feel many people have taken their interpretations out of their context.
I am labeled a “corrupt Muslim” for having the courage to view Islam in a new light, other than what we were taught in schools, and to challenge what is accepted and enforced today by the traditionalist imams and the religious scholars. Should I be labeled a “corrupt Muslim” for having my own views about Islam, for wanting to challenge the traditionalists, and for being rationalistic?
If I am to associate myself with a label, then I would choose to be called a “rationalist Muslim”. A balance between spirituality, and the belief that God can be revealed through reason and knowledge; this school of thought is a minority today, but was popular during the Muslim golden ages amongst the caliphates, the Muslim thinkers, philosophers, and scientists, from mid 7th century to sometime around the 14th century if not later.
Though many other Islamic thoughts did co-exist at that time, the rationalistic thought took precedence in introducing the concept of free speech, secularism, and religious tolerance; where Muslim scientists worked a long side the Jewish, Christian, Hindu and Buddhist scholars.
These were also the time of scientific discoveries, put forward by the “rationalists”, which were, centuries later, brought into the west, those great inventions which are now long forgotten and lost in history.
By Soha F Khan, on August 8th, 2010
Ramadan is couple of days away, and like many other religious holidays and celebrations, Ramadan of the 21st century has been “transformed” and “customized” to the tastes of the present day Saudi culture.
Ramadan was meant to be the holy month for muslims to fast from dawn till dusk and to abstain from the worldly pleasures in order to devote this time to prayers and charity.
It falls on the 9th month of the islamic calendar (Hijra calendar), and it begins by the sighting of the first new moon of the month of Ramadan.
At least that’s what we were taught, and that’s what any person who wants to learn about Ramadan will find in the books.
But what really goes on during Ramadan in Saudi Arabia? Here is a list of the Saudi version of Ramadan:
1. People can’t seem to agree that planet earth has only one moon. We have established that Ramadan begins with the sighting of the first new moon of this month.
It is fascinating that the Sunni sect and the Shiite sect almost always happen to sight the new moon on separate days, and then begin their fast accordingly.
Interesting, I am pretty sure that planet earth has only one moon.
2. Grocery shopping before Ramadan can be a hell.
If you would go grocery shopping 1 or 2 days before Ramadan, My GOD! people fill up their shopping carts with one year supply of groceries.
People! fasting lasts couple of hours from dawn till dusk, for only a month, not a year. You will starve! but not to death!
3. The new definition of Ramadan is to sit in front of a TV the whole day to watch arabic programs and series.
Talk about abstaining oneself from worldly pleasures, people pray that there is something good to watch of TV this month. Since this is the time for arab media to launch new arabic series during the month of Ramadan.
4. Why starve for few hours when you can sleep and wake up 10 minutes before breaking the fast?
Many people, specifically teenagers would sleep during the fast and wake up a few minutes before the breaking of the fast.
You would hear them say things like “wow, fasting is so easy! I didn’t even feel it!”. Yeah, I think you guys are missing the point of fasting which is to feel for poor people who are starving and have nothing to eat.
5. People gain a lot of weight in Ramadan? Yes they do. It’s strange isn’t it? You would expect people to lose weight, but it’s the other way around, why?
Lets go back to point number 2, grocery shopping. In addition, the type of diet followed in Ramadan, which consists of heavy meals and desserts, containing a lot of fat and oil; eating late at night, and no exercise.
A diet that is a guarantee to have you gain weight, get your cholesterol level high, and end up with diabetes.
6. The 10 minutes before the breaking of the fast is the most dangerous hour in Saudi Arabia. That is if you are outside or on the road.
People are usually heading home from work at this time, and they are angry, God forbid if they are 5 or 10 minutes late, they will starve to death if they can’t make it home on time for the breaking of the fast.
My advice don’t go out at this time, and don’t even think about crossing the street, there is a lot of tension at this time. Drivers go crazy, they run over red lights. Someone will run you over too!
7. The happiest people in Ramadan are the retail businesses, because Ramadan = Shopping!
The end of the Ramadan month is followed by a holiday celebration “Eid al Fatter”. This is the perfect time for retails to raise their prices to make sales.
People (specifically women) get too busy during Ramadan shopping for the perfect outfit to wear on Eid Day and showoff to friends and family. In addition, buy gifts for family.
Shopping is more important than prayers and charity in Saudi Arabia during Ramadan.
8. People look forward to this month and get excited about Ramadan…that was the case in the past. Nowadays Ramadan is a burden.
The month is falling during summer (hot and humid weather), which means longer hours to fast. the summer vacation time is cut short for vacationers because of Ramadan.
One can sense that people have lost interest, you can feel the hypocrisy when people speak of Ramadan and how much they are looking forward to this month, but can tell by the expressions on their faces that it’s not really true.
It seems like the “Devil” makes a visit to Saudi Arabia during Ramadan.
I tried to cover all the facts, but if I have missed something feel free to add to the list. Are there any interesting facts about Ramadan in your country which we can’t find in the books?
By Soha F Khan, on July 22nd, 2010
I was visiting my friend and her newborn baby boy. I asked her what she named him, and she replied: “Ahmed”. I asked, why she chose that name, and she said it was customary in her husband’s family for the eldest baby boy to be named after his grandfather. Apparently, this custom is practiced by some Saudi families, which I just recently became aware of, since it is not common in my own family. It is considered a sign of pride and respect for the elders. For example, if your name were Ahmed, then all your first cousins who are boys and also the eldest amongst their own brothers would be named Ahmed too. So imagine if you have five uncles, and every uncle has 1 or more sons, five of your cousins (from 5 different uncles) would be named Ahmed too. I personally would not like that, it sounds weird. What if your grandpa had a really ugly, or a funny name? Hmm.
There is a very good reason why this custom does not run in my family; both my grand parents were immigrants to Saudi Arabia from parts of India and Pakistan. In their culture, it is very disrespectful to name a child whether a boy or a girl the same name as the elders of the family. However, an exception was made in my family for one child. One of my aunts is married to a Saudi who comes from a tribe. In his tribe, naming a firstborn baby boy after an elder is a sign of appreciation and respect for that person. My aunt’s first born was named after my father. My family didn’t take it very well. But it was too late to change the name; not only that, it turned out to be a custom in her husband’s tribe, that whomever the child gets named after, he becomes responsible for holding a feast. (Yes, my father got stuck with arranging the feast, and paying for the whole thing). My grandmother refused to call my little cousin by his first name for a very long time; instead she made up a nickname for him. Does your family follow any customs to name a new born?
By Soha F Khan, on July 18th, 2010
Three cups of tea by Greg Mortenson, is always in my face when I go to a bookstore. I pick it up, stare at it for a while, read the back cover, and think for a minute about buying this book, then decide not to, and put it back in its place (every time). I am very hesitant about reading this book. Though it feels like I already have from all those reviews posted on Amazon. I have also read an article about the author Greg Mortenson. Where he has made it his mission to spread awareness in the communities about helping others. You can lookup the article at: http://halikhan.org/blog/
The impression I got after reading the reviews and the article was that the author, a very kind and noble person, scarified a lot to help out a village in Pakistan. That is all good, no doubt. But that is also a problem for me. To put it bluntly, I don’t like reading books that speak of how once again a very brave “American” came to the rescue of a poor village. And if it weren’t for “this brave American man/woman” the village would be doomed (we had enough of that in the American movies).
These might be the types of books the US readers are suckers for. But for me, it’s so cliché, and I am very skeptical about reading those types of books. Even if that might not be the intent of this book, but knowing that this book goes along a similar story line has discouraged me from reading it. I don’t know if I will ever make this book an exception and read it, because I do seam to have a love-hate relationship with this book. I am still not sure if I will make the effort to purchase it, but only time will tell. Would you read this book?
By Soha F Khan, on July 16th, 2010
 Saudi Champagne Yes, you heard it right; it’s the “Saudi champagne”, and no, it is not what you think. There is no alcohol in this drink (since alcohol is banned in Saudi Arabia by law, or it appears to be that way). It is just a fancy name for this drink. Yet, I do wonder about two things: who came up with this name? And who came up with the recipe? This is one of those chicken and egg mysteries that will remain unsolved for a long time. But on the bright side, Saudi Arabia now has its own national drink, the Saudi champagne.
Nowadays, you would find many restaurants in Saudi Arabia offering the Saudi champagne, that’s where I first tired it myself. I tell you what, it is really good, it’s soothing, and the best part is, it is so easy to make that you can make it at home.
My ratings: 5 stars out of 5.
Here are the ingredients that go into make the Saudi champagne:
- Apple juice (you can add sparkling apple juice)
- Perrier water
- Very thin Slices of lemon or orange or both
- Very thin Slices of apple, do not peal the skin off
- Mint leaves
Mix everything in a crystal pitcher, add some ice cubes, and now you have your very own Saudi champagne! I don’t know the exact measurements of the ingredients; but hey you can experiment, right?
By Soha F Khan, on July 11th, 2010
While I was skimming through the “Asharq Al-Awsat” newspaper, I saw an advertisement for a website about tourism in Saudi Arabia. I decided to check it out. I felt excited, finally an official website by Saudi Commission for Tourism and Antiques that can give me some answers. I have spent most of my years in the eastern province of Saudi Arabia, and haven’t had the chance to explore the kingdom. Reason one, because I am a woman, and women can’t drive in this country. Reason two, no one really knows about places to visit or things to do, if you would ask the locals, they would give you these answers: “There isn’t much to do in this country”, or “don’t know of any places”.
If you want to find out about places to visit, there are two ways, ask someone who have been to those places (good luck finding those people). Or, ask and befriend a foreigner living and working in this country. I am referring to foreigners from the western countries; I tell ya, they know more about this country, then the locals do. I’m not making this up! Honest! I remember couple of years ago I met a guy from Whales working in Saudi Arabia. He told me about his road trip around the country, and the places he visited, I was surprised to find out about these cool places. Here’s a fun fact for ya, would you believe me if I told you that it snows in some parts of Saudi Arabia?
Three years ago, a friend (also a foreigner) told me about caves called “Jabal Qara” that place is about an hour and a half drive from where I live; he took me there. When I saw the place, I was amazed! They were very beautiful caves, I remember seeing similar caves when I went to Australia earlier and I had to pay for a tour, while here, the entrance was free. How come no one told me about this place before? Probably because this country lacks proper marketing and advertisement means. Or maybe we don’t have the facilities to take on these tours, who knows. But one thing for sure, I haven’t come across any brochures for places to visit. So if you want to do some exploring, you kind of have to know someone who knows about these places, and knows how to get there.
Thought I might share some pictures with you from different parts of the kingdom (hopefully one day I will be able to visit them).
 Majader Forest, Asir  Hamadryas Baboons, Riyadh Area  Mada'in Saleh Here is my review of the website:
Website name: www.sauditourism.com.sa
Ratings: 3 ½ stars out of 5.
The good:
- A very good source of information for places to visit, and to do activities in different parts of the kingdom of Saudi Arabia.
- This website is nicely divided into sections by types of activities, and places by areas.
- You can view the website in either Arabic or English.
- You can find information about festivals, hotels and services near by, and tour operators.
- The site mentions the process to obtain tourist visa (I didn’t know that the country offered tourist visas!).
- It does appear that a lot of work and research was put into this website, with photos, and contact information.
The not so good:
- The website can get complicated, too much information, and repetition.
- Some of the descriptions of places and activities are not clear enough, they might mention the town, but they would not mention the main city or the area, so if you don’t know where that little town is, you are in trouble!
- There is an application for a map, where you can search for the location and the address of the place you would like to visit, however using it is complicated and very disturbing. I tried to get the directions on how to get to Jabal Qara, well, I never made it, and eventually gave up! You would be better off asking someone for directions instead if you want to go there on your own, or make an arrangement with a tour operator.
- The map application is in Arabic only.
- Many tour operators that are listed on the website, do not have any contact information. So its nice for you to know that they exist, but you are on your own buddy!
And finally:
The Internet came to Saudi Arabia I think sometime in 98. So lets calculate from 1998 till 2010, it took about 13 years for them to come up with an official Saudi tourism website (way to go Saudi Arabia! you finally came through). Many thanks to the creators of this website. This website is very helpful and it has informed me about many things, I could not have known otherwise. Lets pray they remember to update their website regularly.
I am happy to know that my country is not just dead and boring, it does have interesting things to offer, even if there might be certain restrictions to facilities, and the ability to fully enjoy the tour. I do wish, if they could offer maps with directions on how to get to these places instead of us trying to figure things out, or maybe even create some brochures of places to visit. I hope this information was helpful to you as it was to me.
If you have recommendations for places to visit in Saudi (and better yet have the directions to get there) please share it with us, leave a comment, Thanks!
By Soha F Khan, on July 11th, 2010
You and I have heard stories of houses burning down, and people getting injured. And we move on to another topic. But, can you pause for a moment, and think about what you could do, or what you can learn about safety? Whether its fire safety, ability to perform first aid, or even learn self defense. Maybe you haven’t thought about it because you are too busy, or perhaps you think there is no point in learning since you will not remember. Further more, you believe that IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO YOU! YOU’RE SMART, AND YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF; that might be true, but it can happen to someone you know, or to someone you don’t know but you just happen to be there at the time. Wouldn’t it feel good to know that you were able to help someone out? Here is a true story that just happened a week ago, and I happened to be there.
We were having a family gathering at my aunt’s place. The maid came running down the stairs shouting fire. Smoke began to come out. Followed by the cries of panic, everybody evacuated, someone thought of calling the fire department, but no one knew their number, and instead dialed the police station. Finally, after getting hold of fire department’s number, we began to hear the sirens of the approaching fire brigades. Meanwhile, my aunt and I ran up the stairs to investigate. After quickly scanning the area, the fire was burning the wall and the furniture; it appeared to be caused by a short circuit, luckily it wasn’t a big fire. My aunt, in shock, stood there staring at the burning piece of furniture. I instructed her to get a fire extinguisher, she didn’t have one, then I asked her to get a blanket to put out the fire burning the furniture; she did, and it worked. As for the wall, the maid came running with the bucket of water, and I was able to stop her in time (since electricity and water is a bad combination). In the end we turned off the main circuit switch to stop the fire from spreading (after running around the house to figure out where it was located). Finally, after about half an hour the fire brigade arrived. The day was saved, no one was injured, and the fire was caught in time. The end.
So what was wrong with this situation? Plenty!
- This incident happened in Saudi Arabia…(say whaaaaat?) That explains why you need to dial separate numbers for different emergencies, who’s going to remember which number to dial, since there are so many.
- There were no fire alarms installed in the house. If the maid didn’t spot the small fire, with no fire alarms, what would u think could have happened?
- No fire extinguisher either? Good GOD, what is this world coming too! So you can afford many things, but you tend to neglect having the essential safety equipment?
- What about the alternatives? I happened to be there, and remembered a thing or two about extinguishing fires using blankets, and never mixing water with electricity, that is why I was able to help out (all those fire drills and safety campaigns I attended 4 years ago at my previous work, finally paid off). But what if I wasn’t there at that time, well I bet you that the maid would have thrown the bucket and caused another disaster.
- Not knowing the emergency numbers to call is just plain sad. What is even sadder that it took about half an hour for the fire brigades to arrive, because they were not able to locate the address (btw, the fire station was located only 2 blocks away from the residence). So, lets say it was a big fire and people were trapped inside, half an hour is a long time, you don’t even want to think about what could happen to those poor souls.
Please people, learn to be proactive and teach your family about safety, take precautionary measures before crises strikes. Spread the word!
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