Dear Amy:I have been in a relationship for the past 8 months with a guy.
Two months later, he lost his job and moved in with me and my daughter.
I took care of him and helped him get a much better job. I wake up before him, pack his lunch, do his laundry, cook and clean up after him.
He had a very bad alcohol problem that caused him to become unconscious and act very badly.
I also discovered that he was always hooking up with other women.
Ultimately, he cut out all spirits. We would be fine for a while, but then he would start drinking and cursing at me again and making me cry.
Then I’ll explain how this is not okay!
We broke up about a week ago because he touched me.
I asked him to leave, and he did.
I’m starting to feel a lot better, but of course I miss him like crazy.
My girlfriend took me out and I met a lawyer who was very respectful, very nice, and he seemed like a gentleman.
He invited me out for coffee. Then my ex sent me a long text message begging me to take him back.
We talked for hours on the phone about how wrong he was and how much worse his life would be without me.
I really fell in love with him. Even though he treated me poorly, we had a lot of good times. I do not know what to do. What you will do?
Dear Conflict:Please don’t ask what I would do, because I can only think of so many things I wouldn’t do, starting with moving an unemployed and angry alcoholic into the house with a daughter also there.
Your judgment seems to be extremely flawed when it comes to this person, and while you are clearly proud of your martyrdom, another way to see this is to understand that choosing to believe It is extremely risky for an abuser to lie instead of their own experiences. .
Than:Divorce leads to separation of friendships
Than:Husband’s scraps make a delicious salad
Your desire to rescue this man and patiently teach him how to be a decent human being seems to reflect your lack of humility.
It’s as if you find yourself strong enough to erase his deep character flaws and many serious problems. And your choice to take him back reflects your low self-esteem.
You can do some deep therapeutic work to figure out why you got caught up in this situation, but in the meantime, you should do just one thing: Decide to protect your daughter from the chaos this man creates in your life.
Dear Amy:I decided to cut my mother off completely right after my son was born.
She is an extremely toxic person who doesn’t respect any boundaries, and I decided protecting my son was more important than trying to maintain a relationship with her.
Her actions after that only made me more confident in my decision.
My son is now four months old.
My mother recently contacted my mother-in-law and told her that she would be in her area and wanted to meet.
I feel very uncomfortable with this, but I also don’t want to try to control people the way my mother does.
My MIL went to my husband about this and he told me.
My husband thought they could meet but I thought my mother might feel as uncomfortable as I did.
I didn’t even know if I should join or not because no one asked me.
Strange and feels strange
Dear stranger:I recommend contacting your mother-in-law. Tell her that you know that your mother has been in contact with her and let her know that you’re okay with whatever choice she makes. Assure her that if she feels uncomfortable, she should say no to this.
Ask her to just be discreet when communicating a lot of information about you.
Dear Amy:Want Get in the Groove is sad because her son got married in a civil ceremony a few months ago, and will have an official wedding in a few months.
I have heard about this second wedding after a civil ceremony called the Blessing.
Here’s the best advice for moms of boys at their wedding: Wear beige and bite your tongue.
Midwest mother of three sons
Dear Mom:Time-tested wisdom for all parents. Thank.
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