World Trauma Day 2023: How unresolved trauma can ruin your relationship

Traumatic experiences can affect your health and life. So on World Trauma Day, take a look at how unresolved trauma can affect your relationship.

Natural disasters, armed conflicts, terrorist attacks, mass shootings, life-threatening illnesses, automobile accidents, occupational accidents, rape, abuse, and other incidents that negatively impact Our feelings of happiness, are examples of traumatic experiences. When there is unresolved trauma, it can affect every aspect of your life. In a relationship, you may even have emotional distance or communication problems. On World Trauma Day, which falls on October 17, let’s discuss how unresolved trauma can ruin a relationship.

Psychotherapist, life and business coach, Dr. Chandni Tugnait, explains: Traumatic experiences are scary, dangerous or disturbing events that affect physical, emotional health , our spirit or our society. Trauma can also cause stress in the body, which manifests itself physically in symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, headaches, nausea, digestive problems and poor sleep.

Unresolved trauma can affect your relationship. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

How unresolved trauma can affect a relationship

When traumatic events that people face are not fully processed, integrated, or healed, there is unresolved trauma. Experts say the most common cause of unresolved trauma is trying to ignore or suppress painful events by pushing them into an internal “black box” that gets bigger and bigger over time. time. This process sometimes occurs consciously and unconsciously. Here are some ways that unresolved trauma can affect relationships:

1. Communication problem

A person who is facing an unresolved trauma may begin to retreat inside themselves and stop communicating effectively with those around them.

2. Emotional distance

Trauma survivors often struggle with emotions, feelings, and sensitivity; As a defense mechanism, they often develop emotional distance from others.

3. Trust issues

A traumatized person may have difficulty trusting others, making it difficult to open up and trust anyone, says Dr. Tugnait.

4. Anger problems

Unresolved issues and trauma can sometimes manifest as anger and impatience. Relationship difficulties can stem from this as the person may have difficulty regulating emotions.

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5. Attachment issues

Trauma victims often experience attachment problems, which can arise due to one’s inability to create any kind of relationship or due to an overly possessive attachment to a doer. mixed up the dynamics of a relationship.

6. Re-enact trauma

Unresolved issues can force a person to create painful patterns in their relationship that constantly remind them of the hurt they have experienced. They may encounter people who resemble their abuser or continue to encounter similar difficult situations.

7. Low self-esteem

Trauma victims often struggle with their self-worth and self-esteem. This encourages people to seek recognition in the wrong places.

8. Lack of emotional support

Trauma survivors may have difficulty providing their spouse with the emotional support they need, which adds to the challenges of a relationship that may not be ever end.

9. Quarantine

Because of poor mental health and all the other problems that trauma brings, many trauma survivors avoid social activities. They may withdraw internally to deal with emotional pain, which can ultimately lead to loneliness and further mental suffering.

Trauma survivors may find it difficult to be in a committed relationship. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

10. Dissociation

Trauma survivors often dissociate from reality to cope with their suffering, making it difficult for them to maintain a committed relationship and fully interact with their partner.

Tips for dealing with unresolved trauma

To begin addressing trauma, healing, and reducing its impact on your life and relationships, consider the following –

1. Recognize the consequences of trauma

Browse books about trauma recovery. Whether or not you recall the truth of the event, discuss your actions with your therapist to see if they could be related to an original traumatic event.

2. Share your story

Keep a diary (how to keep a diary) where you can write about your recent and old experiences. Also, ask a close friend or therapist to sit next to you as you describe what happened. You can make connections between what’s happening in your life right now and what you’ve carried from the past by sharing your experiences.

3. Master your emotions

Experience your emotions instead of ignoring them; recognize them and name them. That means feeling the sadness and feeling the rage. Consider where that feeling is coming from in your body. Your emotions can then serve as a guide to help you move toward healing.

4. Take as much time as you need

We are not all created equal and everyone heals in their own time and way. Slow down the process if it is too intense. Take a break and take some time for yourself.

You can also seek professional help as they know how it affects a person and what needs to be done to resolve the trauma.

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